K: Hello? I know you’re in me somewhere, or at least, the possibility of you is in me. I need to explain myself.
PFC: OK, I’m listening.
K: I can’t become your mother because I know I can’t do it by myself and right now there’s no one in my life who would help me. I don’t have a sister or a best girlfriend close by. Moving back in with my parents isn’t an option because we’re barely speaking to each other. And even if we were, my mother’s not well enough to help take care of a baby. I’m alone.
PFC: What’s that?
K: Just a speculum, it doesn’t hurt.
PFC: But there’s a man waiting in the car.
K: Yes, that’s true. But I don’t think he loves me. And I know he couldn’t love you, even if we knew you were his. He’s too young, he’s not ready, he’s made it clear that he’d walk away.
PFC: What’s that?
K: Just a clamp, it pinches a little.
PFC: How did this happen?
K: It was Christmas, two old lovers were back in town, I’d been sleeping alone for months. Then after them there was someone new, the one who’s out in the car. I was careful, but nothing’s foolproof. You have three possible fathers.
PFC: What’s that?
K: Dilation. It hurts, but I’m OK, I’m OK.
PFC: But you’ve always wanted a child.
K: Yes, I have, I still do, I want to hold you and name you and hear your voice, but you’ve come too soon, I’m not ready.
PFC: What’s that?
K: Suction. It will only hurt one lifetime.